The big breastfeeding controversy in the news these days is that BabyTalk magazine (a free subsidary of Parenting magazine) put a nursing baby on the cover. I actually get BT sent to me (thanks to some doctor’s office somewhere that signed me up) and when I got this month’s issue I felt that it was very well done and in good taste — before it was splashed all over. (You can judge for yourself here.)
What surprised me the most about the controversy is how in every story I read, someone quoted ripped off the cover in order to protect their husband or son from seeing the image.
What do you think?
WOW! I feel like we’re going backwards. I breast fed all five of my children in public and the youngest if 18! I really thought that the issue of nursing in public was over. It would appear that the men being discussed in the article see breasts as something for their gratification only. I’m really tired of women being accused of arousing men by such a natural act.
there was the controversy on livejournal becuase some peoples’ userpics featured breastfeeding and some jerk decided to tag them as “pr0n”. a bunch of people left and went over to greatestjournal because lj was being so stupid.
That is an absolutely beautiful photo….
I certainly hope anyone who felt offended by that photo has cancelled their cable tv…and, well, unplugged their set completely.
and to add to Miz Booshay…that they not only cancelled their cable, but don’t allow their husband or son to look at any of the adds for clothing in the paper which include women in bras and panties in much more sexy poses than this, which is not sexy at all.
And that they refuse to shop at stores like Victoria’s Secret (and Bath and Body works because they are connected with VS…and Express too?) because of the far more highly charged sexy advertising than this. And I haven’t even started on Abercrombie, Gap Body, and Hollister. :)
I agree that this is a beautiful picture, and very tastefully done. It might need some explanation to a son about what the baby is doing. But people react far more harshly to the exposing of part of a breast like this than they should to all the real harmful advertising that is out there.
My above comment said, I personally think that in the general public (like not in the nursing mother’s room at church, but outside that) it is respectful for a woman to keep as covered as possible in order to discreetly nurse. It is possible that seeing a woman’s breasts while nursing could negatively affect a brother in Christ (and non-brothers in Christ too), and we are told in scripture to be aware of how we may be causing others to stumble and to adjust our behavior accordingly. Not that that makes nursing wrong or gross or sexy, but just carefully discreet when done in public.
I too saw that article on Yahoo News, and what came to my mind was the question of fear. Are women really frightened to have their husbands and sons aroused by seeing a breastfeeding woman and child, or are they so culturally programmed to see their breasts as a significant part of their sexual attraction that they fear being seen as something other than “sexy” or desirable? Are they more worried about arousing the men or about losing the arousing power when men see them using their breasts for nourishing their children?
I was a real prude when BFing my son, and took great pains to be extra discreet while in public- going to the car, the women’s lounge if at the mall, an out of the way corner… etc. I don’t have a problem with other people being less discreet, just have always been that way myself! I think the cover is just fine- no nipple is exposed or anything, give it up.
A friend of ours who is expecting their first child in September has an interesting rant about this issue on his website http://www.irritationstation.com. You should know that he has come full circle in this area. Back when my husband and he were working together at Office Depot in college, he came running up to my husband and said “YOu got to see this- it’s gross! When my husband got over to the furniture department (which is rarely frequented at ODepot) there was a mom at the far end of the store BFing her baby in an out of the way spot. The friend thought it was so gross- my husband just said “So, babies gotta eat.” and left it at that. Now they are preparing for their first and his tune has changed a little at least.
I think we women need to be careful of being angry with men for being sexually aroused by breasts, even by ones engaged by breastfeeding. The same God who creates breasts to be used for both sexual pleasure and for feeding infants has created men to be visually stimulated. However, I think breastfeeding mamas do need to be aware of covering themselves in public… And even though I think the magazine cover is beautiful, I understand why some might consider it distracting to say the least.
I have yet to meet a man who objects to women breastfeeding because they arouse him. Like the above story, it has ALWAYS been, ‘ew, dude, that’s just gross’.
Me thinks, based on those who seem to bring up these points, the fear is in the women who fear for their husband’s sexual purity. They fear that he’ll see her breasts and begin to lust, which may lead to further sins. Perhaps those further sins may be a reality, but I haven’t meet a man who lusts after breastfeeding women (think: ‘birth story’ on TLC — what man finds that ‘hot’?).
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Yesterday I was at Whole Foods and was glancing over the magazine rack while standing in line. The magazine Mothering had a picture of a nursing mama on the front. It was in good taste, but much more to the point, showing the mother’s face and the baby’s, than the Babytalk picture. I was pleased. It was a very sweet pose.
I have no idea why men (or women, for that matter) object to breastfeeding in public. But I do know that there’s an awkward feeling of slight discomfort when a women’s breasts are exposed while she’s feeding her baby. Even I, a solidly hetero woman, feel the draw of “do I look or do I look away?”. I’m sure that awkward feeling would subside greatly if we were exposed to more public breastfeeding.
I don’t know any guy either who is turned on by a breastfeeding woman…