Demand feeding is recommended by every major medical organization that I know of and breastfeeding experts (La Leche League, IBC Lactation Consultants, etc.) Knowing the nature of our society and how much everyone want to schedule everything, the fact that demand feeding is so encouraged by those who know the most about it was convincing enough for me, but further research and talking to trusted moms confirmed for me that demand feeding was definitely the way to go.
Schedules work for formula fed babies because you can be precisely sure of how much you are giving and formula is not as easily digested as breastmilk, so it digests slower and helps babies to feel fuller longer. But researchers have found differences as much as 300% in mother’s milk storage capacities and so some babies simply aren’t going to get as much in one feeding as others. Keeping in mind that an infants stomach is the size of his fist, it doesn’t have that large of a capacity anyway.
The way milk production works is fascinating. The emptier the breast, the faster it produces milk and the fattier that milk is. That’s why demand feeding mothers simply make more milk on average than their schedule feeding counterparts. Anecdotally, I know mothers that schedule fed some of their babies and lost their milk suppy at 7 or 8 months and then demand fed later babies and were able to nurse well into the second year.
Having a routine is not a bad thing for any family. We waited until Kate was past her first few growth spurts and had moved to two solid naps a day, because she had basically “told” us her routine by that point anyway. Her routine at 4 or 5 months looked something like this. Wake – nurse – play for ~1 to 2 hours – nurse – nap – nurse – play for 2 hours – nurse – nap – cluster feed while playing for several hours – nurse – bedtime (nursing a few times in the night.) I am not holding this up as the perfect routine, but it worked for us. If we were out and about running errands or at a meeting, it was amazing to me how she could go an hour or so longer before showing hunger signs than at home because she was interested in everything going on and distracted. Her routine was (and still is) flexible enough that I don’t plan everything around her. The various meetings and errands I do take place at different times of the day so we tackle each day at a time and it always works out fine.
One mother I know who has several children described for me in detail about how different each of her children and their needs were, specifically how often they ate and how long they slept. It varied so much from child to child that she told me she’d never encourage one schedule for every baby because every baby is different. I honestly can’t think of anything about schedule feeding that would have made the first year of life easier. A flexible routine worked best for me, as my days weren’t identical to begin with.
We did demand feeding. The only problem was that when Jay decided he was ready to eat, he was ready NOW! No silly setting up of nursing pillows, and he couldn’t stand waiting out the torturous undressing. I don’t know if I missed earlier cues, but it seemed like it was a switch going on: I’m hungry, so I’ll cry angrily until I’m fed!
Thank goodness he can snack now!
Lenise,
“The experts” uniformly affirm that crying is a late (sometimes, too late) sign of hunger but I know of other moms and babies who really didn’t seem to have earlier cues. Kate would start being just the teeniest bit persnickety, and once we started having a routine, it was easy to offer at those times even before true cues and she would respond. She really did occasionally turn me down (but not often). Once she learned to sign, the demand part of demand feeding was that much easier!
Just a note on the routine, too. Kate became a 15 minute tops nurser after her first few months and when she cluster fed it would be 5 here, five there. If you are a mom with a “gourmet” who eats for 30+ minutes a feeding, don’t let that routine overwhelm you! Your baby might want and need something totally different.
I guess I hadn’t really thought about it until a friend visited when Ellis was around 3wks old and she asked if I was demand or schedule. So if I hadn’t thought about it, I guess demand is the answer. :)
Like I said earlier: I’m a believer in baby’s cues. I can’t possibly predict or schedule his growth spurts, or when he needs a little extra comfort. Lately he’s taken to fussing and fussing after last feeding before bed, and I find that nursing for 3 min more is all that he needs to go to sleep. I call it his “nightcap”.
Kristen, thanks for pointing out the difference between scheduled and demand feedings for breastfed vs. formula fed infants. It’s most important that we moms look for our child’s cues and that we remember that every child is different.
I can’t say I love the idea of claiming to be either “scheduled” or “on demand” considering that each carries connotations that tend to involve petty judgment calls — at least in certain circles. I pretty much fed Livia (as an infant) when she seemed hungry, but I also found that keeping an eye on the clock was beneficial both to me and her. So I suppose I’d consider myself to be somewhere between schedule and demand… Still, I haven’t breastfed a baby yet, so perhaps my notions on this topic will change someday.
I don’t flaunt my choices IRL, but if anyone asks I am pleased to tell them where I stand because the reasons we’ve decided to demand feed we believe are sound and best for our children, and if that makes them think I am an indulgent parent who isn’t teaching her children self control in infancy (*eye roll*) than so be it. Not that everyone who schedule feeds judges demand feeders that way (lots don’t!) but I’ve definitely been told that and that’s okay. I’m the parent, and I have to make the tough calls and stand by them.
This post was by request from Jeannette, btw :o)
I made a mistake in implying that it’s your fault if others judge you a certain way — and I certainly don’t believe that to be true. I know that in my church, sad but true, many women feel judged by their parenting choices. It’s terrible that parenting issues have become battlegrounds where Christian community is destroyed. But that’s besides the point…
Kudos on your posts regarding WBW. The more people who learn about breastfeeding equals the more who will actually encourage this healthy practice. Nice work!