One of the things that is hardest for me about our vagabond marital life is dealing with my insecurity. I am an extremely insecure person when it comes to interpersonal relationships. I pretty much assume everyone thinks I am annoying and obnoxious. Not staying in places for very long didn’t help me overcome that. I could only be convinced a few people liked me before we moved again. Whenever I think I am growing up, this hits me again, like a knife. I wish I would get over middle school some time in my twenties.
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very interesting, because you’ve always seemed so confident, never annoying or obnoxious. I’ve always felt like people found me boring and unintellignet.
Moving around hasn’t helped my situation either, but has helped to know that my Christian friends always have, and will, give me the benefit of a doubt, seeing as how they too are sinful and insecure, and that we’re all children of God.
I think you’re terribly interesting and intelligent, actually.
I’m the same way. Although I’m pretty sure I think that because I *am* annoying & obnoxious. LOL!
You never struck me as an insecure person because they seem to be generally pushy or whiny or trying to draw attention to themselves. Selfishly I am kind of glad to hear you are ’cause I am, too. Breaking up a couple of times and losing friends in the process didn’t help.
Just keep setting an example of what’s right (and blogging about it!), like you are. I have learned a lot from you and really appreciate all of it.
I wish I would get over middle school some time in my twenties.
AMEN!!!!! a BIG AMEN!!
It’s so awful how deep and seemingly untouchable/unreachable those wounds can be…I can point to tons of accolades and confirmations of worth and esteem – abundantly more frequent occurrences than the painful and negative ones – so why are the painful ones the loudest, clearest, and even freshest?
I can relate to your feelings, though, I would have never guessed that you dealt with those types of insecure feelings too. You seem so confident to me.
You are definitely not annoying or obnoxious, Kristen. Those are two adjectives I would have never chosen to describe you.
I agree that I don’t think you are annoying or obnoxious. I am truly blessed to have a friend in Birmingham – you – who I already feel comfortable with, that I don’t have to be on my guard with. I really appreciate you blogging honestly. I feel like most blogs I visit, including my own, just put on the best face and that can be really misleading.
Now randomness. I temporarily removed my filter so I could look at your pictures. You are so talented it’s amazing. I must confess I’m very jealous of your talents and how you’re honing them so quickly.
And – I saw the picture of Lex touching the ornament. First I was like, hey I have an ornament like that, and that and…hey…oh right, that’s my tree. I’m silly.
Kristen, I adore you! You inspire me all the time! You are so gifted creatively and it seriously makes me jealous. I wish I had the artistic eye that you do. I love the way you are raising beautiful girls to love Jesus. You share recipes you’ve cooked for people you love. You share how you’ve found ways to stretch your dollars. You are a wonderful person and obviously have a wonderful group of family and friends that adore you. I learn so much from you all the time.
Michael loves you so much. Just go look at your wedding photos and the way he was glowing as he looked at his beautiful bride!
I know how you feel. At times as I often find myself in a crowd feeling like I’m 15 and awkward. How often I’d love to escape. I hope and pray that you know your heartfelt, truthful blogs like this one make me realize that there are other people out there just like me and that gives me comfort.
I don’t want this to sound tacky but Christ loves you just the way you are. Isn’t grace a beautiful thing?
Sending my love from Texas.
I’m in the first year of my 30s and I’ve come to realize that no matter how hard we try to be totally “together”…that moment may never fully come for us.
I was horribly disappointed at first when I realized the above…but then I figure, if we have all of our weaknesses figured out, what left is there to learn? Plus, I figure our weaknesses open a door of understanding that allows us to love and give more.
Anyways, that is what I’m hoping for because honestly, the older I get…the less I truly know.
Okay, I wasn’t fishing for y’all to say I am not annoying or obnoxious, but I appreciate it anyway ;)
Being insecure for me is largely fueled by feeling like an outsider. People I’ve known a long time or gotten to know well, I don’t feel like that around (LL, you are most DEFINITELY in that class!) Maybe that’s normal. Moving around makes it difficult for me to get comfortable, even though I’ve tried harder with each move. I still am always surprised when someone wants to be my friend. Yeah, totally middle school.
I think moving around the country as a child made me more adaptable. But moving as an adult? Not so much! I look back on my early adulthood transitions and wish I had outgrown my insecurities then.
I also think we’d be shocked if we could magically view everyone else’s insecurities. We all have them, in some form or another. I appreciate your honesty here, Kristen.
I always found you annoying. But for different reasons. I will tell you this though. I always have admired you for taking on new challenges like there could be no consequences to your choices. Now I’m not saying you didn’t think these things through, I am saying that you still continue on and you “keep moving forward” to quote a movie. I also find it interesting to see how people I knew growing up have also faced these challenges in their lives and see how they react to them. Some people fail and move on, some succeed and move on to. I can say that after being on my own and in a constant state of move from one place to the next every day (I am a truck driver after all), I can see how change affects people. Moving from place to place and never having roots long enough to tap into a social network of friends is real hard and I can see why you would feel that way. But again, I always saw you as a very headstrong person that took on new things and challenges head on . I mean you met your husband on the Internet, tell me that wasn’t a challenge! I guess what I am trying to say is that even though your insecurity may be a barrier, try not to let it be. I know that sounds like a pat answer, but seriously I don’t think it has been a problem in your life too much. I know everyone is insecure in themselves in some way, it’s a human condition, just like anger, jealousy, greed and other things are. I have learned so many things about myself from being out everyday alone with only my thoughts. Some things have been frightening, some not so, but I have learned two things. One is that I am human and the other is that I am definitely the product of my parents and am a combination of the two of them in how I relate to the world. So, I would say “keep moving forward” to sum it up. Good luck to you and your family as Michael moves on to law school.
=] I’m not over middle school (actually, jr high), and I’m 34! It’s a difficult thing to disregard the approval of man in favor of God’s standards, and I think that’s where my insecurity comes from. I’m just thankful for my sister, who knows where I’m coming from, and is a true, dear friend.
Gosh, I’ll be 40 this year and have always felt this way, and just learned to live with it, I guess.
I am not afraid to be the person who says what is right even when it is unpopular.
Chalk it up to junior high (what it was called when I went.)