Hindsight

2008 has been a year. When I decided not to go back to the homeschool coop, I was really nervous. It kept me way too busy and drove me more than a little crazy, but it was dependable income, albeit very small. I had barely any photography clients. I thought my business would never take off. I was making less than minimum wage when I calculated in time and gas, let alone wear and tear on my equipment, Michael’s time helping watch the girls, etc.

Last week I officially had to close off 2008 for booking. My work as child and family photographer hasn’t taken Birmingham by storm quite yet, but it’s doing really well, well enough be booking into 2009! I am building a wedding portfolio I am pretty proud of, while working with wonderful Camille, a new friendship birthed in the fires of others’ big days.

When I was really anxious about all of this, I heard a cover of “Hold Me Jesus” in Chick-Fil-A, and for weeks, I kept meditating on the lines “Surrender don’t come natural to me / I’d rather fight you for something I don’t really want / than take what you give that I need.” I was applying to jobs I wasn’t sure I wanted, because I was afraid I’d never start making money doing what I love. I am grateful that those fears were unfounded, and that I have had exactly the number of clients I could handle without going crazy or totally neglecting the children.

Our lives this year haven’t been all raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, but as I take a step back and see what God has done, and is doing, in spite of us, I am thankful. And I am glad for the encouragement to carry on, because honestly, I need it.